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Women Talk
In favor of
online dating
Against online dating
Both sides of the coin
Red Flags!
Success Stories
Advice Needed
To share your dating horror stories, go to
www.TheDateFromHell.com
In Favor of
Online Dating
Hi Mimi,
I think that online dating is a fantastic tool for meeting persons if
you are a busy person with limited time to go out to social functions
and other more typical arenas where you might meet men. I've found it to
be a terrific experience having had a long term relationship with a man
I met online (over a year) and now I am looking for someone again. The
first relationship just wasn't "it", but certainly not bad at all.
Like any other tools, you need to use them and then use them properly.
Thanks much!
R.
Hi Mimi,
I found this letter about online dating kind of
funny. I was doing the online dating thing before dating services even
existed and became popular. I had a 5 year relationship with a guy that
I met through a chat room online. Of course, it took about a year and a
half before we thought it would be nice to start a long distance
relationship. We exchanged photos and talked online a lot before I truly
trusted him. It didn't last, but it was a good experience none the less.
I signed up for one of those popular dating services in the beginning of
the year and I instantly had guys requesting to chat with me or wink on
my profile. Some of them I ended up going on a date with, most I end up
never hearing from again (oh well, good riddance!). It was almost too
easy.
I am now in a relationship with one of the guys and
have been for roughly 5 months now. She must be putting up a signal
along the lines of either:
A. I'm picky and bitter, so you better please me. or
B. I hate men. Because anyone that has a decent
picture up and a nice profile can probably get at least a few dates from
these services. They are really fun and a great way to meet people!
S.
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This advice about going to an
online dating service is ill-advised in my opinion.
I've had two six-month subscriptions in two different cities and
never had a single date. In fact, I only had one email exchange
with a man that whole time - the last week of my most recent
subscription. It went in the span of a week from "I want to meet
you and take you to dinner" to "I've decided to see someone
exclusively."
Online dating is a waste of time and a waste of money. You
should be ashamed of advising your readers to participate. I've
not heard a single success story.
Mimi's Response:
(And by the way, those who say "you should be ashamed"
rank up there as the most annoying people I run into
all year - typically, they are the ones busy criticizing
the people who are out there making an effort...)
Even though you personally did not have a good experience
with online dating, thousands of couples have met each other
this way Success stories are legion. I personally know MANY
married couples who first met each other through an online
dating service. I've met many nice men that way myself.
It's like anything else - you must use wisdom and be
perceptive about people. You must use proper precautions
and not rush into anything. Take plenty of time.
You must also be the kind of woman men want to date,
in order to have the greatest success.
Mimi,
I had to laugh at your answer to miss "you
should be ashamed". I have a degree in Sociology, and it's
our nightmare when people use one example to make an
argument for the masses. Many people don't seem to realize
just how idiotic those arguments are. I too know a TON of
people who met their spouses online. I also know a ton of
people who hated their experiences with online dating. The
similarities that I have noticed with each seperate group is
interesting...those who have good experiences...are
optimistic people who know that good experiences can exist.
Those who hate it, are grumpy, sad, negative, glass is half
empty types.
Are there exceptions to that generalization?
Of course! But generally speaking, everyone will have some
good and some bad experiences with any kind of
activity...and if you are optimistic you remember the good
ones, if you're pessimistic you remember the bad. Simple as
that. I always try to tell my friends the Einstein
quote...when you look around and everyone seems crazy, it's
time to look within. In the same respect...if you look
around and everyone else seems happy and you're not...it's
time to look at what you are doing to create that negative
space.
Thanks for keeping me laughing and thinking
:)
MollyThank you,
Molly! I love Sociology too by the way!
Your comment about the people who criticize
others made me laugh - I have a sign in my office that says
"Those who say it can't be done should not interrupt the ones
who are doing it...."
Liz
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